Saturday, September 20, 2008

You can put lipstick on a pig...

There is background noise. It growls and hisses, it beats like a heart hidden underneath gravel. A kind of awkward guilt, heavy and light with each change of weather.

This is the news, then. Problem number one could live with me for ever even if I never write down my feelings in a diary ever again. Another issue flickers around me like distant fairy lights, a heat behind the soul, tiny pecks of heat in the mind. It is what happens when the pull of the tide becomes too strong. And the "tug of war" between head and heart grows too difficult.

Escape is just not possible. Mostly for reasons financial. I just cannot take flight without those darned invisible strings pulling me back...

The pages of my personal history remain cold and empty, dead leaves to be sewn into my flesh.