Monday, October 16, 2006

acumen

Took my thoughts for a walk, but the whole family came with me...Thoughts I had long placed undercover announced thier return with trumpets. I walked through Broughton, Goosnargh, Longridge, Grimsargh...the clouds formed curtains, the roads pressured my feet and stomach muscles. For all the spurts of decisions made, came a host of ghosts and spirits. And then today happened, and the ghosts just could not get enough...

This day has been....just so much proof. Evidence that I am a child of a man. That one of my best friends cannot rely on any sense to fall from my mind or mouth...That two plus two equals four. I have no real reason to feel so low, to be holding back tears, to be standing in my front room in silence, catching faint whispers through the falling dust...A knowledge retired within the wood of my intelligence...it is a passport in reverse. These thoughts are cherries in pastry.

Today should have been easy. Just another day. I turned it into a charade, a cabaret. My name is a punchbag, and a punchline. One question - do I deserve to moan given the circumstances of other people? Of course not - and this in turn reduces my nerve and confidence further.

Nothing is very much the same.